Real Rocognize Real.I never have to sit and wonder if I am doing the right thing fighting for death row prisoners lives. Fighting for all prisoners lives really. I believe I touched on this in an earlier blog, without needing reassurance God just sends it my way.
Let me say this quickly, I have been pretty ill the last couple weeks struggling to record. On top of that life dealt me a few devastating blows one right after another. The kind of shots that would have anyone questioning their very existence here on earth. I was not on my "A" game today lets put it like that, my trust issues were ablaze.
I was on my way to the studio and decided to stop off for a quick slice of pizza. I pulled into the first spot I seen. Working behind the counter was an older man, I say he was in his mid to late 70's, possibly early 80's. Anyway I ordered and was just checking out the posters when pop comes out of nowhere and says "I like your shirt". Now I heard him clearly enough but I had to ask him to repeat it. Granted I am in New Jersey the state that just abolished the death penalty. But trust me when I tell you, I always get nasty or strange looks when I represent which is everyday. I mostly run into pro-death penalty people. Guess it's God working. Anyway this nice old man went on to say he thought it was a good thing what New Jersey did taking away the death penalty. As he talked he looked me dead in the eyes with the gentlest, kindest look.
As I spoke to pops he kept on looking at me with this peaceful look. I explained that I had got shirt when I went to the march in Texas last summer. I told him a bit more and he shared that he too did humanitarian work through his church. He said he stood against the death penalty, didn't know how many more states practice it and I told him, about 31 more. He said, "We got a lot more work to do". He handed me my slice, looked me in my eyes and said, "you keep doing what you're doing". I will pops. Trust me I will.
Let me say this, one of the worst parts for me about being tangled in the web of the system was standing and being judged. I am not talking about guilt or innocence because I have plead out on most of my cases. I only went to trial twice. Admitting my guilt for an offense did not spare me of the judgment. A man, sitting in this high chair with a black robe wrapped around him looking like a fool if you ask me. He looks at my appearance, my body language, the way I speak. Then he reads the notes that have been written about me by who knows who, then proceeds to tell me about myself. He would speak of my inability to adhere to rules and regulations. My disregard for the law and figures of authority. He said I was a menace to society, a threat. Yes I am thinking about a certain occurrence but this has happened many times hell even with normal people in the free world. My point is, the judge was wrong. He could not read what was in my heart. I was far from anything that he said. I was a dude that smoked weed. I sold weed. He did not know me at all. This was painful.
Being able to speak, I am left speechless when I am judged in such a manner. One may say well actions speak louder than words, and the judge is basing his findings on my actions. Now, based on my actions is what my sentence should be reflecting on. You can not judge someone on such a level without taking out the time to get to know the person. If you are looking for bad in a person, you are always going to find it, none of us are perfect. Not many people look for the good anymore. Seems like the entire world has trust issues. We're ready to kill each other it seems, we need to chill.
Anyway to finish this up, pops at the counter there was a good man. He like an innocent child saw past the piercings and the tattoos. He saw past the way I dress and straight past the years of struggle that are carved into my face. Old dude seen my heart. He read my heart within seconds. No fear, no judgment, straight up trust and love yo.
I had to write this joint because encounters like this for me in the United States are rare. So rare that I remember the last one I had was in 1996. See when you deem someone, or actually an entire group or culture or race even ,a problem, you get everyone looking for bad and you are going to find it cause as I said before we are not perfect.
It hurts being judged for who you are, or what you are. A judgment that is relentless and unmoving not even taking a moment to see the real you. Knowing the truth, it's taken as a lie. I relate to Jesus and I relate to those on death row in a way words can't explain. I may look like I am ready to kill someone, but if you think that you're a fool if I am wearing a shirt like in the picture. I am against killing. I will stand up for my rights and protect myself if threatened, but I am against killing. Before you going judging someone, try taking a look at you self sometimes. No judge can predict that I will commit another crime. I always knew if I had one chance, one break they would never see me again. They thought different. They thought they would be seeing me around for the rest of my life. I am proving them wrong for me and for all my brothas and sistas locked down.
I thank pops for the inspiration it couldn't have come at a better moment. And I thank God for bringing me the understanding I needed. Never stop learning. Coming to you, straight From The Frontlines! Peace. "X"
Let me say this quickly, I have been pretty ill the last couple weeks struggling to record. On top of that life dealt me a few devastating blows one right after another. The kind of shots that would have anyone questioning their very existence here on earth. I was not on my "A" game today lets put it like that, my trust issues were ablaze.
I was on my way to the studio and decided to stop off for a quick slice of pizza. I pulled into the first spot I seen. Working behind the counter was an older man, I say he was in his mid to late 70's, possibly early 80's. Anyway I ordered and was just checking out the posters when pop comes out of nowhere and says "I like your shirt". Now I heard him clearly enough but I had to ask him to repeat it. Granted I am in New Jersey the state that just abolished the death penalty. But trust me when I tell you, I always get nasty or strange looks when I represent which is everyday. I mostly run into pro-death penalty people. Guess it's God working. Anyway this nice old man went on to say he thought it was a good thing what New Jersey did taking away the death penalty. As he talked he looked me dead in the eyes with the gentlest, kindest look.
As I spoke to pops he kept on looking at me with this peaceful look. I explained that I had got shirt when I went to the march in Texas last summer. I told him a bit more and he shared that he too did humanitarian work through his church. He said he stood against the death penalty, didn't know how many more states practice it and I told him, about 31 more. He said, "We got a lot more work to do". He handed me my slice, looked me in my eyes and said, "you keep doing what you're doing". I will pops. Trust me I will.
Let me say this, one of the worst parts for me about being tangled in the web of the system was standing and being judged. I am not talking about guilt or innocence because I have plead out on most of my cases. I only went to trial twice. Admitting my guilt for an offense did not spare me of the judgment. A man, sitting in this high chair with a black robe wrapped around him looking like a fool if you ask me. He looks at my appearance, my body language, the way I speak. Then he reads the notes that have been written about me by who knows who, then proceeds to tell me about myself. He would speak of my inability to adhere to rules and regulations. My disregard for the law and figures of authority. He said I was a menace to society, a threat. Yes I am thinking about a certain occurrence but this has happened many times hell even with normal people in the free world. My point is, the judge was wrong. He could not read what was in my heart. I was far from anything that he said. I was a dude that smoked weed. I sold weed. He did not know me at all. This was painful.
Being able to speak, I am left speechless when I am judged in such a manner. One may say well actions speak louder than words, and the judge is basing his findings on my actions. Now, based on my actions is what my sentence should be reflecting on. You can not judge someone on such a level without taking out the time to get to know the person. If you are looking for bad in a person, you are always going to find it, none of us are perfect. Not many people look for the good anymore. Seems like the entire world has trust issues. We're ready to kill each other it seems, we need to chill.
Anyway to finish this up, pops at the counter there was a good man. He like an innocent child saw past the piercings and the tattoos. He saw past the way I dress and straight past the years of struggle that are carved into my face. Old dude seen my heart. He read my heart within seconds. No fear, no judgment, straight up trust and love yo.
I had to write this joint because encounters like this for me in the United States are rare. So rare that I remember the last one I had was in 1996. See when you deem someone, or actually an entire group or culture or race even ,a problem, you get everyone looking for bad and you are going to find it cause as I said before we are not perfect.
It hurts being judged for who you are, or what you are. A judgment that is relentless and unmoving not even taking a moment to see the real you. Knowing the truth, it's taken as a lie. I relate to Jesus and I relate to those on death row in a way words can't explain. I may look like I am ready to kill someone, but if you think that you're a fool if I am wearing a shirt like in the picture. I am against killing. I will stand up for my rights and protect myself if threatened, but I am against killing. Before you going judging someone, try taking a look at you self sometimes. No judge can predict that I will commit another crime. I always knew if I had one chance, one break they would never see me again. They thought different. They thought they would be seeing me around for the rest of my life. I am proving them wrong for me and for all my brothas and sistas locked down.
I thank pops for the inspiration it couldn't have come at a better moment. And I thank God for bringing me the understanding I needed. Never stop learning. Coming to you, straight From The Frontlines! Peace. "X"
posted by Capital-X at 4:33 PM
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